Making Up Your Mind on Mascara

There are countless mascara choices!

There are myriad options when it comes to mascara and all novices are overwhelmed by this. I have never been the type to coat my face in layers and layers of makeup, however, I believe that every should have a little mascara. To add to that, she doesn't only have the right to a little mascara, she needs the right mascara. You and I could explore the many types available for you to buy and some I would never recommend because of personal taste,  but ultimately, the choice is yours.

The Color of Your Curl

Black mascara is the most
dramatic

The most common mascara colors are black and brown. That makes perfect sense when you think about it because, at least in this part of the world, those are the two most common natural eyelash colors. One of my closest friends has strawberry blond hair and her eyelashes have always been borderline red. Every morning she goes into her bathroom and uses black mascara. That's what she likes, and I will admit, darkening her long is the perfect way to flaunt them. Black looks could on everyone. So goes the saying for dresses and so goes the saying for mascara. However, you might be wondering what the point of brown mascara is. Well, to the trained eye, black mascara, even on ebony belles is a dead give away. Those aiming for a "natural look" will sometimes use brown mascara. It doesn't offer as much definition and contrast to the wearer but that's a trade off that some can come to terms with. Women who have fairer skin (of any race) and light colored hair that goes with it will sometimes use brown mascara because black is an exaggerated contrast on their eyelashes. In Contrast, there is also clear mascara. Of course, it is the most natural that you could look with mascara because it's not nearly as dramatic as black, brown or any other color of mascara on the market. One of the limited benefits of clear mascara is that it still lengthens the eyelashes and that's a benefit that all of us reap from our mascara.

Water-poof vs. Washable

Crying and looking pretty at the same time is
enough of a battle. Don't worsen your
stakes by wearing washable mascara. 

Now, the advantages to washable aren't as self-explanatory as water-proof. While washable mascara will run off with just about any aqueous solution, the most commonly used being water, water-proof mascara will not come off unless you use make-up remover or scrub really hard with soap (the latter's not advisable). I have always preferred waterproof mascara because eye-makeup remover is quite inexpensive and while many people use cotton balls or cosmetic cotton pads to apply it to their lashes, you could get away with using tissue. In addition to that, you will never be that girl who teared up on a pretty day and ended up with black tears marring her cheeks.

Start Fighting Wrinkles in Your Prime

Out of sight, out of mind. Everybody knows the saying and it holds true to everything, including wrinkles in your youth. Nature's out to get your skin. The sun is out to get your skin, I know. Aging is an inevitable insidious process and like all insidious processes, it needs to be treated long before it is seen. Some people may argue that I am way too conscious of future wrinkles for a young women in her 20s, however, I am what you might call an investor- a person who understands that if you invest today, reducing disposable income now, you yield more later. Fighting wrinkles at an early age  starts with three things, in my opinion. Notice I said "starts" not ends.

1) Moisturizing all the time: I am not going to endorse any moisturizers. I actually use a very generic brand of moisturizer. Whether or not you moisturize, I believe, will always be more important than what you use. Moisturizing must be done after every bath or shower. Whenever I come out of the shower, I apply lotion to almost every part of my body, paying extra attention to the parts I know are more prone to drying up during the day. The critical areas (more so when the weather is cold) are your cheeks, your legs, feet and arms. Naturally, if you have oily skin, application must be sparse.

This is your skin each time you let it
dry (on a microscopic level)

Have you ever wondered why the skin on people's hands ages a lot faster than the skin on other parts of their bodies? It's because our hands are constantly getting washed and aren't moisturized as often. If you don't carry a hand lotion around in your handbag, you have got to start doing that. Whenever I wash my hands, even if it's away from home, I follow that up with my hand lotion.

Dry skin not only cracks, it also ages faster. Try to picture a river bed drying up and how it looks during a drought. You do not ever want to put your skin through that kind of stress. If you do not do that, your skin will look better when you're older.

Sunscreen's not only for the beach and it sure isn't only for
Caucasians

2) Sunscreen- no matter what race you are: The sun is a real aging accelerator. Everybody has heard that, but few people actually think about it. Women of color have an advantage over women of other races, and that advantage is melanin. It makes us darker skinned than everyone else, and a century ago, that was considered a bad thing. Now it's widely known that melanin, actually protects from the sun's UV rays, one of which, UVA, is responsible for wrinkles. Collagen is found in your skin and gives it elasticity. Unfortunately for all the sunbathers out there, UVA penetrates skin barriers and depletes collagen, leading to looser, weaker, wrinkled skin. Women of color enjoy the benefits of the natural sunscreen called melanin, but they could really boost their advantage by acting like they don't have it. Wear sunscreen daily. Don't slather it on like you're going to roast on the beach, but put some on your face, your neck and chest religiously and it will pay off. I go out of my way and use it on my arms and legs if they are going to be exposed. What you are doing is slowing down aging. It is better you do so now than when you are 39 years old and start to see the first few furrows on your forehead and crows feat. One way to cheat is to find a moisturizer with a good SPF (20+), then you'll be moisturizing and protecting from the sun simultaneously.

Your skin loves cold water, even if you don't

3) Don't wash your face with water that's too warm: Cold water is actually very good for your skin. Believe it or not, it decelerates wrinkling. I remember when I was 13 years old, my dad and I went to visit one of my aunts in the UK. I haven't seen her since then, but I remember back then she was one of those women in their mid-40s who looked 10 years younger. We'd been sitting at the dining table and the conversation took the direction of youthful looks. She turned my way and said, "You know, people always ask me what I do to the skin on my face. I'm not spending a fortune on it. You know why I look like this? It's because I have never once washed my face with warm water." I, of course, thought that was a little odd. I thought that was just an old wive's tale. Turns out it isn't. A little bit of online research proved me wrong. I started washing my washing my face exclusively with cold water when I started college. It was tough to stick to the cold water but you get used to it. It got to a point where splashing cold water on my face was the most refreshing part of my day. I am nowhere near old and still boast the best skin among my girlfriends. It's not all genetics. Thanks to this part of my skin care regime, I will hold on to that title for many years.

Minimized Hair Breakage with My Hair Washing Routine

Stop cutting corners just because
it's frustrating!

To those of you natural hair neophytes who are still struggling with the crippling tangles and hair breakage that comes with removing braids that have been in for a little too long or even just the hair washing process, you are about to learn how to minimize them- I did. Last night I removed my crochet braids and after years of cutting corners in my post-braid hair washing routine, I decided to follow all the steps of my "Detangle. Wash. Work It. For Natural Hair" post. I had forgotten how immediately gratifying it can be and wanted to share it with all of you. My natural hair has grown dangerously long. I say dangerous because you will find that the longer your hair gets, the more tiresome some of these hair washing routines become. It's a real test of patience to detangle, twist and re-twist ever-lengthening hair, but hang in there and you'll be able to avoid all kinds of damage.

De-tangling is a test of patience.
It's the easiest time to damage hair.

1) The detangling: the importance of applying a natural oil to your hair before even attempting to de-tangle was a lesson I learnt today. Typically, I have a handful of hair when I detangle with oiling the hair first, and for several years I convinced myself that it was all shed hair that had been trapped in my braids. While that is true to some degree. A lot of that hair is unintentional breakage. Natural oils, like the jojoba oil that I used today, give the hair slip and no matter how gentle you believe your touch is, they nearly half the damage your hair and wide-tooth combs do. I took my hair detangling and spent about two hours on it. Consequently, I had an eighth of the broken hair I used to see.

Divide and twist- that's the secret

2) Segmenting the hair and twisting segments: This is a repetitive process that absolutely must be done after detangling, after you shampoo and condition each segment and, finally, after drying the each segment and applying your leave-in conditioner. My hair was divided into five segments,  a number I thought was suitable for my shoulder-length hair. As your hair lengthens, fewer segments will be needed. I use Organix shampoo and conditioner, specifically the Cherry Blossom Gingseng flavor. I love the brand and would recommend anyone of the varieties of Organix shampoo and conditioner. I began by untwisting a segment while water runs over it. Shampoo was applied in a downward motion, clasping the hair between my palms, it was then rinsed off with running water and conditioner was applied. The segment was twisted and the routine repeated on each of the segments, making sure not to rinse any conditioner off the completed segments. I then allowed my conditioner to sit in my hair for 30 minutes, a crucial step for revitalizing your hair after its been in braids for a long time. Because the conditioner is not leave-in conditioner, it's imperative that it is thoroughly rinsed out. I did so by untwisting the segments, rinsing them and then re-twisting each of them individually. You know you have substantially minimized damage when you look at the shower drain and there's very little there, as was the case with me.

Some people cover their hair in satin scarves
as it dries. It allows you to get around and will
smooth down your edges but it slows down
the drying a little bit- not a terrible trade off. 

3) Plaiting the hair after leave-in conditioner's applied: this step is needed to stretch the hair. I had more plaited segments than twisted segments when I was washing the hair because I wanted the hair to dry rapidly. Increasing the number of plaited segments increases surface-area and if you remember your science lessons from middle school that cuts down on drying time. One thing I did before plaiting each segment was run my wide-toothed comb through the segment after the leave-in conditioner had been rubbed in. The leave-in conditioner has countless long-term benefits, particularly when applied with a serum to seal in moisture (I use Garnier Fructis Anti-Frizz Serum), but the immediate lies in the springy properties it gives your hair. That springy property translates into less hair breakage when you run your comb through it. Once your hairs in plaits, it should take about 4 or more hours for it to air dry. Some people like to cover it in a satin scarf so they can go about their every day business in the public eye. I always schedule my hair washing on a weekend, so I don't have anywhere to go and can leave it exposed in the house, doing chores or watching tv as it air dries.

I use Organix shampoo and conditioner. It has countless different varieties
and, more importantly, it's free of sulfates!

My Top Four Inspirational Natural Hair Videos

Change is good. Change is inevitable. But above all, change is difficult. When I was transitioning to natural hair I went into a knowledge-hungry frenzy. There wasn't one natural hair YouTube video that I wasn't willing to watch and, consequently I learnt a lot. I learnt who knew what they were talking about; I learnt who didn't. I remember watching a video by vlogger who claimed that the best way to wash your hair when you have crochet braid is to use an Q-tip (ear swab) dipped in apple cider vinegar and run it over parts of your scalp. Are you frikin' kidding me? Now, I know that was ridiculous advice, but the early transitioner makes some mistakes and those mistakes have repercussions. When the going gets tough, you need a reminder of why you decided to go natural in the first place. These inspirational videos helped me, and to this day, are among my favorite natural hair videos:

1. Black Women with Natural Hairstyles...

2. Natural Hair Inspirations and Hair Styles

3. Natural Hair Inspirations 2012

4. The Coil Review Commercial - Natural Hair is Fabulous (this has to be the funniest. LOL!)

Eight Reasons to Be a Natural Belle

 Big chop baby!

If you want a protective style that
gives you straight hair, try flexistrand

1. You were made that way

2. You won't be running for cover when the rain comes down. Hair shrinking back to its natural state is every relaxed-hair girl's nightmare. It's akin to a full moon in a werewolve's eyes. Ever noticed how calm real wolves look towards the end of a lunar month?


3. More people love natural hair than you realize. My roommate transitioned to natural hair a year ago. We go to a university that has a minority percentage of 19% and a black percentage of just 3%. In such an environment, it can become easy to conform to extremely western standards of beauty. Many African-Americans, if asked what kind of hair is considered beautiful by Caucasians would answer "long, straight hair or hair with loose waves". Weeks into her natural hair transition, all my roommate would wear was weaves. One day, she decided to bare her natural hair and got countless compliments, from boys and girls, on her "fro" like hair. If people outside our race appreciate the beauty of black natural hair, we should too.

Why would you relax this little girl's
hair? It's adorable. 

4. You hair won't thin as much as relaxed head of hair does. Remember what I explained about the fragility of African hair in my Leave-in Your Leave-in Conditioner post. Our hair is the extremely brittle, particularly when moisture-deprived. Relaxing your hair exacerbates that problem and that's why straightened relaxed hair is often thinner than straightened natural hair. As long as you care for your natural hair, gaining length will become easier than when you had relaxed hair.


5. You have a unique curl pattern to show off. Every natural head of hair is unique. That is even true among people with the same hair type. Stop selling yourself short.


6. No one enjoys bragging about fake hair. No matter how good it looks, there's always going to be a morsel of shame in artificial beauty. When a woman praises her weave in public, she often wants people to believe that it's her real hair.


7. There are so many different hair styles you can do with your natural hair. Think about the limitations of having a weave. There are only so many hairstyles you can do without exposing your tracks. It's crippling. With natural hair, no matter how many parts you make, where you part your hair, if the hair tied up or sleeked back, there will always be a healthy scalp underneath it, attesting to your hair's legitimacy. Think about the limitations of relaxed hair. You can't rock the afro or really curly hair on a whim without "ruining" the hair.

The beauty of relaxed hair is it can be both curly (left)
and straightened (right). The woman in both pictures
is Kim Love of Kimmaytube (natural hair guru). 

8. You haven't taken straight hair off the table: You can actually straighten natural hair to get a mock-relaxed hair look. In addition, it comes with a bonus: thicker straight hair. Should you choose to straighten your natural hair with a flat iron, a good heating serum is indispensable. That is too avoid heat damage to the hair, something that has long term consequences to natural hair-it will never be same. Flat-ironing your natural hair should also only be left for special occasions. I recommend doing it a maximum of 3 or 4 times in a year. The rest of the year, be spontaneous and try out different protective styles. Try to keep your relaxed hair stretched most of the time. Otherwise, flexistrand extensions are a good style that allows you to flaunt straight hair while protecting your fro.

    

A Little Inspiration to Get or Stay Natural!

The problem with natural hair is the same problem
facing our natural rainforests, our ice caps and threat-
ened species all over the planet. Everyone admits they
  are beautiful but few are willing to make the
 sacrifices necessary to protect and care for them. So,
 we continue on with our destructive ways, we call
 them progress...modern...and we convince our-
selves that destruction is as inevitable as breathing.

They say there's a natural hair revolution. I am not sure I agree with that. Revolution has been defined as a "forcible overthrow of government or social order", and that is not akin to what is happening all over the world right now. The conversion of so many black women from relaxed hair has been a slow one, but the inspiring thing is it's happening. Every day (I would hope), one black girl or woman decides to do away with the corrosive substance we've been slathering onto our fragile hair for decades, and everyday, we all become a little more beautiful. Do you have any idea how many black women are unaware of the fact that every one of us has a unique curl pattern? Tons! And it's because the second we see growth we straighten it (chemically or otherwise).

 I decided to go natural at the end of my freshman year in college. All my life, my mother relaxed my hair. She was always insistent on using a relaxer that was mild. She would then put my hair in rollers to make it look straighter. First year of college, I attempted to relax my hair by myself and my hair really thinned. That was the shock I needed to go natural. Sadly, that's how countless natural hair transitions start, and it shouldn't be like that. More women should simply be inspired shortly after seeing a breath-taking head of natural hair. Two months ago, when I removed my crochet braids, I was astounded by how big and beautiful my curly hair had grown. I had an afro the size of a beach ball and the ironic thing is I had always thought that would look ridiculous. It wasn't ridiculous, it was ravishing. Full, long, curly, bouncy...healthy. It was everything I ever wanted from my own hair and so much more. Maintaining long natural hair gets hard and sometimes you just want to go back, I know. Just know though, there are a multitude of reasons why you shouldn't.

"Natural Beauty"

    

Stop Wearing Weaves. Protective Styling is Key.

Check out Kimmaytube
on YouTube for some
cool protective styles!

Weaves are not your best friend. If you are making an honest effort to grow beautiful natural hair then do not consider the widely popular fake hair trend as the ideal protective style. I know about the dynamic state of fashion and beauty, as well as the creative spirit in all of us that just loves change. Believe me, I have been there. You've had curly/frizzy hair for eight months, religious tenacity when it comes to the tiresome regime that has since kept that natural hair in tip top condition, you walk into that beauty supply store and that pin-straight, waist-length, jet black weave is looking pretty darn good. It promises a break from the tiresome regimen, it promises change and, above all, light hair flying in the wind. Then the economist in you starts to wage a battle with the materialistic little sprite in you. "Come on! It looks fabulous! Wow! $230.00! But we could always reuse it...and probably wear it for a month...at least!" You want to buy it, I know. You probably shouldn't. 

You rock that natural hair girl!

Many misinformed individuals have been led to believe that weaves are a great protective style, and while they can be if used correctly and over a short period of time, more often than not, they are destructive.


First of all, when people first invest in a weave, they are loath to treat it like they would if it was their real hair. In an attempt to preserve the weave and keep it looking one-day old, they go for unhealthy periods of time without washing it. We are all familiar with the stereotype of an African-American woman with a weave, "patting" at it aggressively. Causing all sorts of brain-damage for temporary relief. It is a common sight and there are two things that it can be attributed to. One, the weave is sewn on so tight that it is causing irritation. To avoid ruining the tracks, the woman pats at the irritated areas instead of scratching them. The other potential culprit in this situation is stretched hair washes. I will call on a  favorite oxymoronic hair phrase of mine and say that her scalp is an oily desert- it hasn't seen water in eons, it is covered in clogged sebaceous glands and has an ever-increasing product build-up. As one can imagine, any hair in that condition has a markedly strong smell, often unpleasant. Don't be that girl. My freshman year of college was when I wore my first and last weave and, at the time, I really stuck to my weekly hair washes. Consequently, the weave had a short life and required regular straightening with a flat iron. Any girl looking to buy a weave has got to be willing to do that.

Another reason I am not the biggest weave fan is they cover your real hair for extended periods of time. Access to you hair is limited, leading to the debilitation of your natural, curly crown. It's important to be able to thoroughly cleanse your hair, and with a weave that becomes difficult. I call it the swimming cap effect. If you wore a swimming cap for an entire month, regularly shampooing the cap, the hair underneath would be in embarrassing condition when you finally pealed it off. In addition to that, the regularly application of leave in conditioner and other moisturizers that really helps your natural hair glow would have to be suspended.

The fake-it-or-break-it dilemma: to go with bangs or leave
hairline out...

Finally, there is the fake-it-or-break-it dilemma. If your not buying lace-fronts, then this is a problem you will face. In an attempt to make the weave look more legitimate, creators offered women all over the world three options: lace front, bangs or pulling out your hairline in order to cover the weave. The problem with the final two options is the very crux of the fake-it-or-break-it dilemma. Not a lot of women can pull off bangs. The number who think that they can is far greater than those that truly can. No one wants the whole world seeing their tracks so the bang women opt to fake-it. Over my years of observation (let's pretend I am a bird-watcher), I have found that the thinner the bangs, the realer they look. Sadly, a lot of "bangettes" try out the really thick bangs and end up hair that just looks bogus. It kind of defeats the purpose of a weave, don't you think? On the other hand, there's the more authentic looking option, which I call the "break it" option. You pull out a small amount of your own hair to cover the weave in front. It looks like you hairline so what's the problem? Well, it is something that exacerbates with the time you keep your weave on. The hair that you pull out, particularly if your dealing with a bone-straight weave, has to be regularly straightened so that it looks identical to the weave. In some cases, it has to be dyed. Both are very damaging to natural hair (and even relaxed hair). Repeated heat damage and damage due to exposure to the elements gradually shortens the hair that's left out. When you take off the weave, the difference between that hair and the hair that was underneath the weave will be striking. I do not have to tell you all that minimizing hair damage is the secret to growing healthy locks, and some of you may want to enjoy the healthy hair near your hairline before it starts receding.

Some of my favorite protective styles from left to right: Asian flat twist, twist braids, twist updo, crochet braids, flexi-strand extensions, twisted bun and 1940's style

When it comes to natural hair care and protective styling, the options are endless. One can try crochet braids, flexi-strand hair extensions, braids (not to thin), twists and more. A short search on YouTube will reveal that protective styling is something that can also be done with your own hair. If you like variety, look into them. Like me, you may gain a few skills.

    

Lavish Longer Lashes!

Most of the eyelashes in
mascara commercials are
fake. Sad truth.

So you don't exactly have the longest lashes and you always envy the 100% Spanish belles who don't need fake eyelashes to do the mascara commercials. Yep. That's right. If you didn't know this before, I am telling you now. Eighty-nine per cent of the eyelashes you will see in mascara commercials are fake. While your eyelashes give everyone less than 10 feet away the illusion that you have bona fied, thick and full lashes, they will never really look quite like the ad models'. It's time to face the fact that many of us aren't "born with it".

This odd-looking instrument may
be the answer to your prayers

So, my blog is about natural beauty, and this post will be about intensifying your natural allure. You will always have the option of buying fake eyelashes. However, for some reason, I never wanted to go down that route. Maybe it's because after bringing a guy home, I never wanted to traumatize him with the dramatic face alteration that accompanies fake lash and fake hair removal. Maybe it's because I never wanted to be in the middle of a great date when half of my eyelashes begin to fall into my eye as it twitches uncontrollably. (That actually happened to my roommate two weeks ago). Among my alternatives were eyelash extensions, which are a semi-permanent eyelashes, glued individually to your real lashes until the real lash falls out. The main reason this option was never explored was whenever the opportunity presented itself, my pockets were a little too shallow. They are costly! For a long time, I did nothing about my stubby eyelashes, which were constantly entangled with each other, pointing in all directions but the right one. Eventually, I stumbled on a lash-enhancing technique that worked for me and barely cost a thing: the eyelash curler.

All you need is mascara, a
curler and vaseline

I will admit when I first bought my eyelash curler, I had no idea how to  use it. I mean, it looked like a surgical instrument. I believe it reassembled what I had always imagined was use to pry eyes open and rip out eyeballs in horror movies. For a week, I used it the wrong way and when that wasn't successful I, stashed it away in a pile of cosmetics that would not be used for another year (I kid you not). It was only after I washed a "curler girl" commercial that I discovered my erroneous ways and pulled out the curler to use again. It only took a week of use for me to see a notable improvement in the aesthetic look of my lashes. The magic of the curler is that it leaves typically straight lashes curving outwards, giving the appearance of longer lashes. It also presses your lashes in a line, leaving disastrously messy lashes, like mine, uni-directional and neat.

I had to share this photo of an African girl with
fake eyelashes, taken by Luba V Nel. She is
breath-taking!

The correct way to use your eyelash curler is to, first, ensure that there's nothing on your lashes and they are dry. Back in my misguided days, I would use it after applying mascara. That actually damages your lashes. Never pull on the lashes, because rather than lengthening or curling them, it will just uproot them. Simply, keep your eyes half open and place your top lashes in the "clamp opening" of your curler. Beginning as close to the eyelid as you can, without pinching your skin, close the curler so your lashes are gripped in the clamp opening.  Hold it in place for 3-5 seconds without blinking. Why? Blinking will tug on the lash roots and high hair tension is your worst enemy. Never drag the closed curler over your lashes while holding it closed- that's pulling on your lashes! Unclamp, move the curler a little further down your lash and repeat clamping. That motion, of walking down the lash, rather than pulling down the lash, is a crucial skill to master. Once your are done curling, apply mascara. The difference will be conspicuous and you will have harnessed your lashes natural allure. Curling, I have found, doesn't have to be a daily thing. I imagine that incessant curling stresses the eyelashes and leads to damage. For the past month, I have only been curling 3 times a week and the results are undeniable. The rest of the week, I use mascara solo.

The results of a curler and mascara on real eyelashes

Finally, strengthening lashes is also important. One way to do it is to thoroughly remove the makeup on and around your lashes before bed. Once the lashes are completely clean, rub a dab (very small) amount of vaseline between your (also clean) thumb and index finger. Then, with the pad of your index finger, apply vaseline in the same way you apply mascara- i.e. underneath the top lashes, from root to tip. Don't rub! If you have too much vaseline on your finger, you will only get it in your eye and you do not want to err that way. Make vaseline-eyelash application a part of your make-up removal regimen and start enjoying that natural glamor in a few weeks.

    

Detangle. Wash. Work It. For Natural Hair

Our hair can be very brittle

The natural hair girl's nightmare is hair breakage- fact. Well, I suppose not exclusively. I look back on my relaxed hair days and remember lamenting my fragile hair. Ill-informed individuals say things like, "African hair grows slower than other races'." That's actually not true at all. Our hair grows just as fast as other races' hair. When it comes to gaining length, we have two impediments: the fragility of our hair and its extreme tendency to tangle. If you've read my "Leave in that Leave-In Conditioner" blog post, you remember me alluding to moisture not always reaching the ends of our strands. Consequently, our hair is often brittle. We have trouble gaining length because we are frequently breaking hair faster than it grows back. Oh yes, we live in a give and take world, and there is rarely a balance.

Wash regularly. It feels and smells
 amazing!

Washing hair is a crucial part of maintaining healthy hair. It's time to shatter the myth perpetuated in some African communities that washing your hair too often leads to significant breakage because it dries your hair. That myth was started before the age of moisturizers and leave-in conditioners. A good head of hair is washed at least once a week (no exceptions). I wore weaves one year in my life, freshman year of college, and I still stuck to the "once a week" rule even if it meant my weaves were short-lived. Dirty hair stinks and a mass of artificial hair on top of it isn't going to change that.

Fortunately for you natural belles, you're not worried about losing that bone-straight, relaxed look by hydrating your hair. You are rocking your natural curls! However, washing your hair (the right way) still takes more time and effort than extending your hair's dry spell. It is worth it though. Below, I have outlined the things you must incorporate into your hair washing procedure to avoid unnecessary breakage (sadly, some will always happen but mitigate is the key):

Divide that hair into sections as you detangle, twisting
the sections as you go

1. Detangle your hair thoroughly before washing it! There are countless reasons this is the first point. Firstly, skipping the process will worsen any knots you have in your hair. The worse the knot, the more time needed to eliminate it later, the more hair broken eliminating it and, worst case scenario, you may have to use the sheers. If you are using scissors to deal with your knots, you have let those knots run wild. Heed my warning! Now, detangle your hair in sections and once a section is complete, twist it and hold it in place with a clip of your choice (avoid death-grip clips). I recommend olive oil or coconut oil to give your hair slip as you detangle. That really helps. If you are going to use a comb, use a wide-tooth comb. I usually detangle with my fingers and use my wide tooth to finalize the process. 
2. Wash the hair in the sections you made while detangling. One step at a time, as the saying goes. Its in the shower where you can completely undo all your hard work detangling and that is why this point is important. I remember my naive days of detangling before washing, going into the shower and scrubbing one big afro, coming out and spending two hours detangling again. Sections are your friend. With your twists and clips still in place, choose one to undo, apply shampoo in the same direction as your hair grows (don't just grab it like a loufah!), rinse it, twist it while you are still under the water and clip the end. Once the shampooing is done, condition in the same way, only don't rinse the shampoo out before re-twisting. You want the head of conditioning twists to sit for at least 15 minutes. This is usually when I watch a bunch of Youtube video- you know the kind of videos that make you lose brain cells. Use that time to do something, don't just sit there. Cover your head in a shower cap and pamper yourself in some other way. This conditioning period really helps moisturize your hair. If you are serious about growing good natural hair, it is no longer enough to conditioner, scrub your body and then rinse hair and body at once. You may kill two birds with one stone but one of them won't be worth very much. Once the waiting period is over, thoroughly rinse out the conditioner. Yes, that means undo twists and redo them. 
3. Leave in that Leave-in Conditioner. This is where you score the brownie points. Once you have padded your hair till it is damp. Undo one twist at a time and add a reasonable amount of leave in conditoner and a morsel of the natural oil you use to seal it in. Twist that section back and if you tie the very tip of your twist with a small hair elastic, that will not only hold the twist in place as your hair dries, it will also stop your ends from frizzing. The hair elastics can be substituted with metal snap clips, which I prefer. Then let that hair air dry.   

Do as you please as you wait for the hair to condition

When you undo your hair it should be stretched and the twists will give your hair some bouncy curls. That is, unless you rake through the strands with a fine tooth comb the second it is done drying. Naturally, this is a long process. I recommend doing it on a day you have off work or school and start in the morning to give you hair enough time to dry. You should not be undoing your twists before the hair is dry. In addition, dividing your twists into more sections than you used for washing will speed up the drying process. Think back on your elementary science classes, when you were shown how surface area helped accelerate evaporation. 

Washing the right way is a painstaking process. I will admit that willingly. However, as your hair lengthens you can use fewer sections for the shampooing/conditioning steps. Eventually, you will be able to pull off four sections. Still discouraged? Well, let me leave you with this: there's a price for beauty are you willing to pay it? 

    

My Nuvaring Got Trashed by My Drunken Boyfriend

I really had to share this with somebody and I guess the internet makes it the world, but what I am about to tell you is so ridiculous I am laughing in disbelief. First of all, let me clearly state that this has nothing to do with natural hair or beautiful skin (I might add, that what I am about to tell you about is the reason I went from flawless skin just last Wednesday to far from beautiful skin).

Last week, I paid a visit to my gynecologist for reasons I will not disclose and she recommended a new birth control to me- Nuvaring. I have tried various types of birth control in the past, some worked wonderfully, others not as well. It just so happens that my genetic make-up left susceptible to extremely unpleasant birth control side-effects. So, my gynecologist handed me Nuvaring, which is a genius product for those that it works for. It would not be for me. That night I inserted the Nuvaring into my fun tunnel*, lauding the creators of this plastic ring for the break I was soon to have from scoffing down birth control pills day after day. I turned in that night and woke the next day to find an unusual rash directly below both my ears. Truthfully, I must have given the tiny rash 5 seconds in my morning, during which I thought, "Wow! Both sides, what symmetry!" Later that day, it had spread and was threatening to cover my cheekbones. Now that it was on my face, I could see the nature of the rash. It was rough to the touch and looked like millions of tiny zits the same color as my skin. Here is where I will stop you to say, "I love my skin! You don't get it. I pride myself in my flawless skin." Naturally, I panicked. The next day I hurried right back to my gynecologist to yell, "What is this?!" I was shooting all sorts of questions at her. "Allergy?! Side-effect!" Her response was that it looked nothing like an allergy and she sent me home with instructions to call if it got worse. No one likes a response like that, but I took what I got, slowly starting to loath the ring residing in my fun tunnel, manipulating the hormonal balance in my body.

It was a Friday and I went over to my boyfriends. It had been a rough week so I was more than happy to be able to spend the rest of my day with him. Now, I take full responsibility for initiating the drinking. I suggested we take some shots. He and his brother have been working on building a bar in the house, so his collection of glassware is praiseworthy. Out came the double-shot glasses and the actual liquor went down faster. I will fast-forward past all the drunken dancing and buffoonery that followed and resume playing where we decided to have inebriated sex (not always the best idea). He knew I'd changed the my birth control, he did not fully comprehend the concept of Nuvaring. I brought him the condom and slid it onto him.  He made one thrust into my fun tunnel and withdrew. I was trying to get on top of him but he was resisting.
"Whaaattt," I demanded.
"You can't....We need a new condom... this is broken..."
I remember thinking, "Hmmm...Weird," but an intoxicated attention span is about 2 seconds long.

This afternoon, I was at work and noticed some unusually heavy spotting. Hours later, I walked into my apartment and thought I would double check that my ring was still present. It wasn't. Re-check. Yep! Definitely wasn't there. Re-check. Oh My God! Every explanation ran through my head. I thought, "It couldn't have gone further up; the vagina is virtually a dead end to anything larger than a spermatozoon. It must have been when we were having sex." I ran over to my cellphone and called my boyfriend to ask one of the most awkward questions I have ever asked him."
"Babe, I am going to ask you something. Don't freak out. Did you happen to see a plastic ring when we were having sex this weekend?"
"Why... Did you lose it?" he asked, confused.
"Just answer the question!"
"Okay.... and it was," he responded, still confused
Men! I tell you! so clueless, "It was in my vagina!"
"Uhhhh... Yeah... I did... On Friday... Remember when I said the condom broke..."
"You threw away my birth control!"

Right now, I am trying to figure out how to explain this to my gynecologist when I call her tomorrow. The lesson: alcohol is dangerous and you should always fully describe your birth control to your boyfriend. But hey, my skin's getting better.



* fun tunnel = vagina

    

Leave In That Leave-In Conditioner!

The Kim Love of Kimmaytube: Natural Hair Guru!

I must have been fifteen years old when I asked the question, "why do black women need to work hard to grow healthy long hair?" Kim Love, one of YouTube's natural hair care gurus, epitomizes that. For a long time caring for her hair was a full-time job. Like her, there are many women who devoted (and still devote) as much time to their curly crowns- some successful, others not so much. Anyway, I looked online and learnt a little about how we ended up with high maintenance locks, while women of other races can get away with torturing their hair for months on end. Follicles. Whoever thought something microscopic who be so important? Turns out, our follicles are flat and oblong, resulting in curly hair. In addition to that, the at the base of our hair strands, where nobody looks, the hair strand is hooked. In conjunction, these two anatomical differences result in the tight curls that have been called frizzy and nappy for years. Ever noticed how the roots of your hair always looked more virile than your ends. That's not just because they are newer. It is also because the oil secreted by glands on our scalp has trouble making it to down the coils that are your hair strands.

Many of you know the benefits of leave-in conditioner, so I should not have to say what I am about to say. But I do. Countless black women women overlook those benefits and don't realize that when they comb their hair and notice thick hair near their scalps and straggly, thinning hair at the ends, the reason is they have parched their hair for too long. The fact is "if you're not leaving in that leave-in conditioner, you are getting left behind." Mull over this for a second: you drink at least four glasses of water everyday, do not moisturize your fore-arms, yet they still look smooth and moisturized. Shouldn't hair be the same? Those of you who do not use leave-in conditioner frequently or practice some other moisturizing regimen have this mentality. The answer to that self-destructive question is NO. Your hair may be an extension of your body but their no blood vessels going to the tips of your locks. It's your responsibility to help that hair so it doesn't look dry and brittle. Leave-in conditioner is the way to go about that. 

Leave-in conditioner is a lot lighter than the regular conditioner you use when washing your hair. They are totally different products and that is one reason why. If you used your regular conditioner as a leave-in, you would end up with an unnaturally alarming amount of product build up and a sticky, disgusting mass on your head- fact. That's why it is so important to thoroughly rinse your regular conditioner when your done washing your hair. Leave-in conditioner should be applied after patting your hair to a damp state. Then you can let it air dry. Many women who have gone natural recommend locking in that moisture, and that is done by using a little bit of natural oil like coconut oil, jojoba oil or castor oil. Steer clear of anything with petroleum jelly or mineral oil in it. 

"If you're not natural, you're not you"

The frequency of your leave-in conditioner use varies from person to person. Some people have oilier hair than others and you should consider that before designing your hair care regimen. One black woman who grew her natural hair to the middle of back told me that she would use a little leave-in conditioner on her ends daily and then apply a small amount of coconut oil. The result was that her hair was thick from top to bottom. Many recommend doing it once every 2-3 days. That's where I stand. At the very least, you should be using leave-in conditioner after you wash your hair and if you are going more than a week without washing your hair then you are doing yourself an injustice. In between washes, it's a good idea to try applying leave-in conditioner once every 2-3 days and doing so to the hair closer to your ends. I use the half-rule: the half that is near the ends of your hair should get the regular (between washes) moisturizing. Naptural85, another successful natural hair YouTube vlogger told her subscribers that she spritzes her hair with water daily and then uses a natural oil to seal it in. That's an equally effective natural method, and so naturally, I approve. However, when using water, more frequent moisturizing is requisite and the natural oil application is more important that before. 

Finally, make a regimen. If you do this once in a month and then abandon the routine for two months, it is not going to work. Never underestimate the value of consistency and regularity. They promotes health and leads to success. Below are some leave in conditioners that I approve.

    

Great Leave-In Conditioners:

1. Kinky Curly Knot Today Leave-In Conditioner (the best!)
2. Cantu Shea Butter Leave In Conditioning Repair Cream
3. Giovanni Direct Leave-In Conditioner
4. Beauty Without Cruelty (BWC) Leave In Conditioner

Your hair care regimen should include a leave-in conditioner

Bye Bye Durag! I'm Sleeping on Silk!

We DO have good hair!

Black women everywhere know all about the sleep complex. Durags, head scarfs, sleeping caps, hair nets and hair wraps. Most of us have bought them. Most of us have worn them. Companies have and continue to make a fortune off us. And before I get mistaken for some anti-capitalism socialist, let me say, 'I don't blame them!" Viva world economies! Did you know that it is widely reported that black women spend more on hair care products than any other race? Marketers know. Ultimately, it can be attributed to the centuries of shrinkage, breakage, heat damage and split ends that led us to believe that we just don't have good hair. We have gone to the extent of nursing our hair in our sleep.

You want to sleep like this? You can.

The benefits of overnight hair care are indubitable. However, lets face it: durags and head scarfs are far from attractive on the majority of us. By day, you have thick, raven, black locks and come dark, you are going to bed with what resembles a shower cap. You look like a hot mess. That's all well and good when you're sleeping solo, but what happens when you have your boy toy or boy friend over. It must be the Hollywood influence, because we want to envision ourselves (and be seen) as sleeping beauties. Delicate eyes closed, gorgeous eyelashes peeking out, skin like still waters and hair draped on the pillow in an aqua-effect... Notice I didn't mention hair net. They've never flattered me. There are a fortunate few who they do. Not me. So you do without the head scarf for a night of passion and the next day you have set yourself back weeks in your hair care regimen. Argh! News flash to those of you who do not know this already: it doesn't have to be that way!

I'm sleeping on silk!

Sleeping on silk... It's about luxury, elegance and guess what my Afro-Caribbean belles: the solution to sleeping with unattractive durags and hair wraps. Silk pillowcases are just as effective, yet few people use them. I was tired of head scarfs and the like, so about a year ago, I went onto amazon and ordered a single silk pillowcase. I have never looked back. Like covering your head at night, they lock in moisture and prevent split-ends. However, they have the additional benefit of letting your hair breathe. You have been smothering your hair at night! There are countless eccrine sweat glands on your face and (guess what?) scalp. You wrap your head up to protect the hair and there's a heat build up. According to the rules of homeostasis, your scalp will sweat, and with nowhere to go, that sweat will sit there and accumulate. Come morning, your teeth aren't the only things with "morning breath". If you are not convinced yet, you have got to admit these affordable pillowcases look and feel great!

Brides should not be the only ones getting silk pilllows